Madison
Elissa Signor
May
5, 2012 @ 2:46 am
5
lbs. 11 oz. & 18 ¾ inches long
For my first birth I had planned to have a natural delivery. I had envisioned a calm and peaceful birth with Frank and our parents all in attendance. My actual birth was anything but that due to a host of interventions and medical complications.
Around 30 weeks my blood pressure began to creep up
so my doctors chose to monitor it for the next few weeks and see if I could still
deliver naturally on my own. On Monday, May 3, 2010 Frank took me to my doctor’s
appointment before he headed back to the base in North Carolina. I had been
feeling “off”, swelling, and having dizzy spells. My doctors informed me that
my blood pressure was extremely high and they wanted me to be admitted to the
hospital for the remainder of my pregnancy.
I checked into the labor & delivery unit, and
then I was taken to the Maternal Fetal Medicine office that was attached to the
hospital for an ultrasound. After an ultrasound with MFM, the doctors decided
that it would be best to induce me later that day to prevent my blood pressure
from getting any higher or causing any harm to Madison. Later that day the
doctor began the induction process by giving me a dose of Cervadil to help
dilate and soften my cervix. I was given an IV as well so that I could be given
fluids and medications for my blood pressure. That night I was able to get some
sleep even though I had started to have some contractions.
The next morning my doctor decided to break my water
and start Pitocin to make my contractions stronger and closer together. I
decided to wait to get an epidural as I really wanted to deliver as naturally
as possible, despite the induction. Several hours later, the pain was so bad
that I was blacking out during contractions. After some discussion, I decided
to get an epidural so that I could be comfortable and at least try to enjoy
what I could salvage of my child’s birth. Although I did get an epidural,
something about it was not working properly. I continued to have severe pain
that shot down my legs and into my feet. The anesthesiologist continued to
ensure me and my family that it was normal, all while dosing the epidural
multiple times. Although I was dilating and labor seemed to be progressing,
Madison was still not dropping into my pelvis. During my labor, there were
several times when Madison’s heart rate dropped and came back up. The doctor
changed from the external monitors to internal ones to get a better idea of
what her heart rate was doing during my contractions.
After laboring for most of the day and night, my
blood pressure spiked and Madison’s heart rate dropped dramatically. The doctor
decided to do an emergency c-section to save both our lives. I was wheeled into
the operating room and the doctor started the c-section. Although I did not
feel the pinch test they did, I was able to feel the incision as the doctor
started. I was put under general anesthesia for the c-section.
Madison was born at 2:46 am on Wednesday, May 5,
2010. She was born weighing 5 lbs. 11 oz. and she was 18 ¾ inches long. Her umbilical
cord was wrapped around her neck twice, which is what was likely keeping her
from dropping down into my pelvis and causing her heart rate to drop. She was
also facing upward, which was likely making my pain much worse. The doctor
later told me that because of the position she was in they had to both pull her
from my abdomen while pushing on her through my vagina to get her out. She had
a bunch of little red spots on her face, which worried me since I have a birth
mark on my face, but they went away in a day or so. Madison spent some time in
the nursery as she had trouble with maintaining her temperature, which I was
told was likely due to the medications I was given during labor. Madison met
her daddy and grandparents while I was in recovery. Although I was told she was
brought to me in recovery, I do not remember seeing her until I was in our room
later in the day. She had her first bath
and daddy gave her the first bottle of formula. I only saw these things because
Frank was able to video them for me.
After I was transferred to our room, I was able to
hold my little girl and breast feed her for the first time. We had a ton of
visitors while in the hospital the remainder of the week and breastfeeding
became a huge challenge for us. I was in a lot of pain and Madison preferred a
bottle over the breast. She was very gassy from the formula and spit up a lot. We
went home on Saturday, May 8, 2010, one day before Mother’s Day. Being able to
take my little girl home was the best present anyone could have given me
despite what had happened with her birth.
After settling in at home, Madison continued to have
stomach issues related to formula and we continued to struggle with breast
feeding. My milk was coming in quickly, so we rented a hospital grade pump. I
felt it was better for her to get my breast milk rather than the formula, even
if it was from a bottle. During this
time, my hormones and emotions were all over the place. I was having a hard
time even caring for Madison, especially after Frank returned to base. My mom
did her best to help me out, but something just wasn’t right. I talked to my
doctor who prescribed an anti-depressant for postpartum depression. The
medication was wonderful for me and I was able to become a mother to my
daughter and take care of her without the feelings of despair and regret, but
it had its draw backs. After starting the medication, I ended up having to switch
Madison to a formula again as my supply could not keep up with her demands.
There is still a lot of my labor and delivery that I
do not remember and although I did not have the birth experience I planned or
wanted, I am grateful that I had doctors who knew what to do and who acted
quickly. Breastfeeding was a challenge, that I feel was compounded by her
delivery and the fact she was given a bottle so soon after birth. My inability
to breast feed her after 8 weeks also bothered me for a long time. I felt as if
I had failed to do what was best for her. It has taken time to heal and to really
accept that sometimes things just don’t happen as we plan. I held a lot of resentment
towards the doctors for forcing an induction which led to a c-section, but now
I’ve realized that without their knowledge and care that there was a huge chance
neither of us would be here. I’ve also realized that, even though I didn’t
breastfeed for a full year like I wanted, I still gave my little girl a
wonderful start. Formula wasn’t the end of the world. She is still healthy and
happy, and that is after all, all that matters to me.
