Madison's Birth Story

It's taken two years for me to deal with and come to terms with everything that happened during my first birth. The result was my precious baby girl, Madison, who I wouldn't trade for the world. Part of the healing process for me came from writing out my birth story.

Madison Elissa Signor

May 5, 2012 @ 2:46 am

5 lbs. 11 oz. & 18 ¾ inches long

For my first birth I had planned to have a natural delivery. I had envisioned a calm and peaceful birth with Frank and our parents all in attendance. My actual birth was anything but that due to a host of interventions and medical complications.

Around 30 weeks my blood pressure began to creep up so my doctors chose to monitor it for the next few weeks and see if I could still deliver naturally on my own. On Monday, May 3, 2010 Frank took me to my doctor’s appointment before he headed back to the base in North Carolina. I had been feeling “off”, swelling, and having dizzy spells. My doctors informed me that my blood pressure was extremely high and they wanted me to be admitted to the hospital for the remainder of my pregnancy.

I checked into the labor & delivery unit, and then I was taken to the Maternal Fetal Medicine office that was attached to the hospital for an ultrasound. After an ultrasound with MFM, the doctors decided that it would be best to induce me later that day to prevent my blood pressure from getting any higher or causing any harm to Madison. Later that day the doctor began the induction process by giving me a dose of Cervadil to help dilate and soften my cervix. I was given an IV as well so that I could be given fluids and medications for my blood pressure. That night I was able to get some sleep even though I had started to have some contractions.

The next morning my doctor decided to break my water and start Pitocin to make my contractions stronger and closer together. I decided to wait to get an epidural as I really wanted to deliver as naturally as possible, despite the induction. Several hours later, the pain was so bad that I was blacking out during contractions. After some discussion, I decided to get an epidural so that I could be comfortable and at least try to enjoy what I could salvage of my child’s birth. Although I did get an epidural, something about it was not working properly. I continued to have severe pain that shot down my legs and into my feet. The anesthesiologist continued to ensure me and my family that it was normal, all while dosing the epidural multiple times. Although I was dilating and labor seemed to be progressing, Madison was still not dropping into my pelvis. During my labor, there were several times when Madison’s heart rate dropped and came back up. The doctor changed from the external monitors to internal ones to get a better idea of what her heart rate was doing during my contractions.

After laboring for most of the day and night, my blood pressure spiked and Madison’s heart rate dropped dramatically. The doctor decided to do an emergency c-section to save both our lives. I was wheeled into the operating room and the doctor started the c-section. Although I did not feel the pinch test they did, I was able to feel the incision as the doctor started. I was put under general anesthesia for the c-section.

Madison was born at 2:46 am on Wednesday, May 5, 2010. She was born weighing 5 lbs. 11 oz. and she was 18 ¾ inches long. Her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck twice, which is what was likely keeping her from dropping down into my pelvis and causing her heart rate to drop. She was also facing upward, which was likely making my pain much worse. The doctor later told me that because of the position she was in they had to both pull her from my abdomen while pushing on her through my vagina to get her out. She had a bunch of little red spots on her face, which worried me since I have a birth mark on my face, but they went away in a day or so. Madison spent some time in the nursery as she had trouble with maintaining her temperature, which I was told was likely due to the medications I was given during labor. Madison met her daddy and grandparents while I was in recovery. Although I was told she was brought to me in recovery, I do not remember seeing her until I was in our room later in the day.  She had her first bath and daddy gave her the first bottle of formula. I only saw these things because Frank was able to video them for me.  

After I was transferred to our room, I was able to hold my little girl and breast feed her for the first time. We had a ton of visitors while in the hospital the remainder of the week and breastfeeding became a huge challenge for us. I was in a lot of pain and Madison preferred a bottle over the breast. She was very gassy from the formula and spit up a lot. We went home on Saturday, May 8, 2010, one day before Mother’s Day. Being able to take my little girl home was the best present anyone could have given me despite what had happened with her birth.

After settling in at home, Madison continued to have stomach issues related to formula and we continued to struggle with breast feeding. My milk was coming in quickly, so we rented a hospital grade pump. I felt it was better for her to get my breast milk rather than the formula, even if it was from a bottle.  During this time, my hormones and emotions were all over the place. I was having a hard time even caring for Madison, especially after Frank returned to base. My mom did her best to help me out, but something just wasn’t right. I talked to my doctor who prescribed an anti-depressant for postpartum depression. The medication was wonderful for me and I was able to become a mother to my daughter and take care of her without the feelings of despair and regret, but it had its draw backs. After starting the medication, I ended up having to switch Madison to a formula again as my supply could not keep up with her demands.

There is still a lot of my labor and delivery that I do not remember and although I did not have the birth experience I planned or wanted, I am grateful that I had doctors who knew what to do and who acted quickly. Breastfeeding was a challenge, that I feel was compounded by her delivery and the fact she was given a bottle so soon after birth. My inability to breast feed her after 8 weeks also bothered me for a long time. I felt as if I had failed to do what was best for her. It has taken time to heal and to really accept that sometimes things just don’t happen as we plan. I held a lot of resentment towards the doctors for forcing an induction which led to a c-section, but now I’ve realized that without their knowledge and care that there was a huge chance neither of us would be here. I’ve also realized that, even though I didn’t breastfeed for a full year like I wanted, I still gave my little girl a wonderful start. Formula wasn’t the end of the world. She is still healthy and happy, and that is after all, all that matters to me.